You always look back on like earlier times of your life and feel like they went by so quickly right? Like I feel now that although these moments were so painful and always alone, I don’t know when I look at the way I designed the lyrics even, there’s this innocence still.
Omg I look back at these designs even now and I’m like, half torn between wanting to get sad about it or being disgusted at the childishness lol. No like, I have to finish mixing this album if it’s the last thing I do in my life lol. I just feel like there’s such a huge gap between what I thought I knew on earlier recordings and then what I learned about mixing years later and like, you can tell, but it’s okay. When the times right I’ll finish it. I just honestly as corny as this sounds am thankful I can make something like at least I think is halfway decent because in life really, you never have any guarantee as to what’s yours, there’s very little that people can’t strip you down to; or take away from you. Sometimes it’s like we get so attached to physical shit, but in those moments like, and I hope I never reach that low again- I can always just like keep pressing on and find enjoyment in like creating music cause really, it’s one of the few things that can’t be taken away from you. I guess someone could stab you in the throat or something or just kill you but you know what I mean lol. Thanks tho Bae. Cause at that moment I was pathetic enough to stay in that moment forever. Day by day but it’s much better. No more posts now for a while lol. Loves.