哭

You know that feeling you get when that time has already passed, and you’re like damn why didn’t you value every minute you had at that time, or work harder?

I feel like that so much. Everyone says like yeah don’t regret things the past is the past but. It’s tough. Anyways long story short I’m probably going to be back in Canada by next month. Which is going to be really really shitty and challenging, because I’ve been alone and doing my own thing in Asia since I was 18 now.

I just think of how normalized I’ve become and what it must be like to be landing in Asia for the first time again, like before I met Newfoundland.

And then it’s like bam, more then a decade has gone by. It’s sad, time goes by way too quickly. I feel so much like my friends and family have grown up so fast: and also that they’ve got their life more peiced together then mine. This is going to be like starting over again. And it’s gonna hurt more then a lot of things have. 

But I’m not gonna lie like, I’ve been pretty stupid and lazy and I should have worked harder. Gotten a lot of things I probably didn’t deserve and I mean that In a good and a bad way but, I’ve gotta find some way to work productively and sustainably wherever I am. 

Anyways rando thoughts today LOL.