On HIV Disclosure

How Do You Disclose?

No one really has a road map I guess of what’s best when it comes to this. This post isn’t about whether or not like, to disclose, your required to at least in Canada and honestly we can get into the legal aspects of disclosure, and you probably should if you’re HIV Positive and just want to make sure your sound legally, but this is just my policy when it comes to it.

Straight From The Start

At first after diagnosis it was like, almost as If my status was something I should keep really low-key. For a couple years I just didn’t have sex with anyone. 

Not that’s much has changed in that department but I’ve learned to get a thicker skin thanks to HIV. I don’t really care what anyone’s opinion is of me and whether or not you have hurtful words to say about it like, ignorance is on you not me.

So I just am starting to be more public about it now. My Twitter profile says my status, most of my social media does as well. Not because I’m some attention seeking biatchh, and not because I’m having all these sexual partners or something (I ain’t Willy) but just because although we’ve made progress there is a huge amount of ignorance in the gay community. Whether or not I’m positive for some people may be a dealbreaker, irregardless if I’m undetectable and can’t give HIV to someone else.

It’s a risk yeah

If your someone who judges people based on their HIV status tho. Your probably not someone I’d have any interest in dating anyways. I’ve been in a shit relationship in where I’ve put others before myself in the past and I just find it better to actually have some standards for myself this time around.

Honestly for me is the best policy and it’s better to just have it public in my opinion. If someone is still understanding of your status and you continue on then like that’s fine. 

On the other hand like I know sometimes you have people who are bitches on Grindr and Hornet, Jack’d & Blued, whatever the fuck your using these days. Ignorance exists within the gay community and understanding of HIV varies from country to country as well. 

Some aren’t comfortable 

Some people just aren’t comfortable with having their status public because maybe they fear being the target of people’s ignorance, and that’s also understandable. I used to feel like that as well until I realized just keeping everything a secret for me, personally, eats at me. It’s not a dirty little secret and it’s such a small thing in 2018 I don’t know why it’s still sometimes such an akward conversation.

I know it hurts to have things public sometimes but honestly, either way people with HIV need to be strong and have a tough skin. While making your status may make you sometimes a target of ignorance what’s the alternative? 

Telling people on an individual basis every time? I’m not just talking about for sex or something but like, you’re still going to encounter ignorance at some point from someone, and it’s also like tiring one would think, because 9/10 one doesn’t just ask about status they want to know about your story and whom you think you got it from, what you’ve experienced like, I’m not complaining I don’t mind telling anyone that anwyays, but for some maybe yes it’s exhausting lol. It gets tiring if you have a half long story and you’ve got to tell that to everyone.

I just decided to go public with it because honestly I did get tired of telling it, and I’ve moved on from that and tried to deal with my separation and telling that same old story brought up shitty feelings over again and again rehashing through those bad times.

How’s that working for ya

Haha I don’t know. Probably not so great? A lot of people who didn’t know were then like, scared or like, someone I was really into before was like we can still be friends, I mean like in Asia some places it’s still kind of a big deal yes. 

But it’s not something I’m just going to wash away one day unless a cure comes along so like, it is what it is. It’s part of me and if that’s like a issue for some that’s fine, it’s not an issue for me.
王可森 (Kesen)

Canadian Born, Asia-Raised. Currently living in Taiwan. Interests include basically anything tech/web, music (Listen to my album on the left Menu!) Asian Politics and Policy, and Asian Boys lolol.