I honestly don’t know.

I don’t know what to do anymore. After all the shit storm you’ve dragged me through and blamed on me, I can’t manage to move past this. I’ve wanted to make it right so Many times but I can’t move past how bad you’ve hurt me and hurt other people.

Your only claim to any pain is the fact mode people know aboht your status now. But it really doesn’t matter because you’ll lie right to their faces anyways.

Literally they messaged me. And then they don’t believe that we didn’t go through one of the biggest shocks of our life two years ago. And I realize your probably lost, I am too. But you didn’t have to make me your enemy. We could have gone through this together and for what?

So you could go off on sexscapdes until you learn to love yourself again? And now sign this dude? Honestly? Why do you feel you’ve earned the right to just  wash your hands of all the pain you’ve intentionally caused so many people? Why? Now this guy is right for you because your  finished sleeping around the world now and suddenly when the nights get lonely this dude will do? No man will endure what you put me through. This is not fair. 

For what almost two years you’ve made me stay married while you pretend I don’t exist yet every relationship of yours is messaging me here and there? Why would you lie?

Why would you just pretend you don’t have it? What’s the sense? In denial? To start a relationship off on a complete lie and then only to drop that bomb when he’s so attached to you he probably can’t let go?

How much is enough? It wasn’t enough your husband your family friends kids fandoms to be in your path of absolute shit destruction but now after all this your going to give everything I’ve put myself through hell for to this dude? Like honestly , I can’t even anymore. I just want out. Of ducking life.

I hate you. No one is supposed to go through this. No one understands. Then don’t sit here alone at night and their body burns cahse they’re not taking meds Aleight like. I wish you would just fucking come back. I’m tired of pretending like I’m strong enough or that I don’t want you to come back. Fuck. 

王可森 (Kesen)

Canadian Born, Asia-Raised. Currently living in Taiwan. Interests include basically anything tech/web, music (Listen to my album on the left Menu!) Asian Politics and Policy, and Asian Boys lolol.